Wootage!

I love Tucson! This is probably not legally binding or anything, being (possibly) a mistake, but it's still pretty freakin' awesome: http://www.azstarnet.com/metro/280051.php

I need new boots...

So I was out hiking with a friend yesterday. Note to self: steel-toed boots get caught in crevices in the rocks REALLY EASILY. My toe got caught; my body kept going; the whole system bent at the ankle & I was screaming in pain before I hit the ground. It took me several tries to get up w/out passing out. Yikes! Fortunately, I had ibuprofin, and an awesome walking stick, and a cell phone so I could let my family know what was going on. I finally managed to get to my feet and discovered a way of limping along that did not bend the ankle. Unfortunately, I was 3 miles from the trailhead. So I kept limping. Part of the way along, we returned to the area managed by the visitor's center. They run tours on these little paved roads. My wife, who had raced across town to the visitor's center as soon as she heard I was injured, tried to convince a ranger to go up the little paved road and meet me and drive me back, thus saving me 2 miles. But that was a no go. They "don't do" that kind of thing. If I wanted a ride, I'd have to call 911. Well, I figured, if I'm walking all right (albeit very slowly & painfully), that hardly counts as an emergency. Besides, ambulances are expensive and I really don't think my insurance covers emergency calls. (And yes, although they can't exactly charge you for the call itself, they sure as heck can charge for the 2-mile ride in the ambulance from the trailhead to the visitor's center.) So I kept limping. It took me 2 hours. I am exhausted. We then went to urgent care, because by now the ankle was swollen & kind of numb, and I still couldn't bend it. They x-rayed it & determined there was no break, but it was a nasty sprain. Joy!

The truly disturbing things in life...

I parked in an ordinary parking space on an ordinary day. Next to the car was a raised gravel area with a sad, wintry bush and some dried leaves. And what appeared to be a rag. I didn't think much about it, but simply left the vehicle to complete my business.

When I returned, I took a closer look at the rag. Not for any great reason, or because it was remarkable at first glance, but because my back has been stiff so it took a little longer than usual to sit down, and I had to look at something.

The rag was not a rag. It was a corset. A black corset, inside out, with stiff stays and laces, just sitting in the parking lot.

I found myself contemplating the erstwhile owner of the limp corset. Was she a dominatrix type, who carries around a spare corset the way some people carry around a spare bra, just in case of emergency, who was not careful about how she opened the door of her car? Was she a normal sort of girl embarrassed about owning such a thing, who found a need (perhaps in a parental visit) to quickly discard the item? Was she out on a date and found the bank parking lot ideal shelter for 'adult activities'?

I mean, really, who loses a CORSET? The things are expensive!

Random Criminal Procedures thoughts...

I have a random fear of hiking in the woods, coming across a pot field, & being arrested & getting my body cavities searched.

I also have a random fear of being pulled over late at night while tired & being forced to submit to a blood test. Yikes, needles!

WHY DO PEOPLE PAY $18K/YEAR FOR A CLASS, THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT IT INCESSENTLY?

A random thought from Torts reading...

I would just like to state that "Nameless Wrong" would be an excellent name for a band.

I love monsoons!

Last night, a major storm ripped through my neighborhood. Lightning flashed right outside; the power flickered like a strobe. Rain blew in sideways onto our porch. We pulled the plugs on all our delicate electronics, closed up all the windows, and took everything breakable off the porch, and pretty much ignored it after that.

This was the scene out our kitchen window this morning. The carport in the foreground (you can almost see the tops of cars) used to have a roof on it. The carport roof is that crumpled bit of wood in the background.

Yay wind! Extreme weather is fun! I am SO GLAD that I don't live in that property, and even more glad that our car was parked UPWIND from that disaster.

This is the obligatory "Drunk Blog"

Because Everclear is a most wonderful substance, consisting of grain alcohol and...well...don't really know what else. 190 proof. Woot. And I thought the Bacardi 151 was fun. This stuff, I took a little tiny taste, and it just evaporates out of your mouth, leaving a tingling behind. If I weren't feeling quite so tipsy, i might be able to make a cool story or poem about that shift in POV back there. Clearly, I have not drunk enough, that I am still able to think of things like that. Anyway, the tingling is far superior to anything gleaned from Cuban cigars, PopRocks, 151, or Altoids. I must try it in conjunction with any one of the above; unfortunately, I have none of the above in my house and I am now far to inebriated to contemplate leaving.
This is how I spend my 4th of July - getting drunk, watching subversive movies. Except Volcanopele, who has joined in our revels, is a staunch, patriotic Republican type, and he is uncomfortable with subversive movies, so we're causing virtual mayhem & lawlessness through the medium of GTA IV instead. Which, if you think about it, is probably more damaging to the psyche & sense of justice & freedom & so forth than "Dr. Strangelove" ever could be. (Not that "Dr. Strangelove" is particularly subversive. It's just funny. But it's far from the usual Independence Day fare.)
Fun fact about me: Despite loving the Constitution, Bill of Rights, and everything this country stands for, I am far from patriotic & never have been. Back about, oh, 7 years ago, when the entire country went into this bizarre frenzied spout of patriotism just because a few misguided, renegade terrorists decided to stop bitching & actually do something, I managed to incite a riot by being my usual, not-especially-patriotic, tactless self. Silly me. I think that's when my former BFF & roommate started really questioning how much effort she wanted to put into salvaging our already-frayed relationship. If I was going to start trailing home angry mobs, she didn't want any part of it. This was probably a wise move on her part - though I have managed not to start any mobs since that time.
Of course, that is mostly due to Roni stifling me any time I start ranting publicly about anything, rather than any newfound display of good sense on my part. I am grateful to my wife for keeping me safe from lynch mobs.

Happy Independence Day, everyone! Celebrate freedom - subvert the dominant paradigm!
Oh, and drink Everclear!!!